Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I want to live on Carpenter Lane

I wanted to cry when I heard about Carp

Can't we just have one thing go right? We were supposed to have him back this year, and that turned into a disaster, but I stayed calm and reminded myself that I wasn't counting on him until 2009 anyway. 

2009 has a lot of hopes pinned on it from my standpoint. 
  • The All-Star Game will be played in St Louis for the first time in like 4,600,000 years (except Ballpark Village won't be finished).
  • Chris Carpenter will finally be healthy enough to rejoin the rotation and whip our pitching staff into shape (except he's undergoing his sixth surgery and may not even actually ever throw a ball again). 
  • The front office is going to grant Cardinal Nations' dearest wishes and actually spend some money on players (except... well, that one remains to be seen. I'm not overly optimistic.) I want Brian Fuentes. I'm adding him to my list. 
Speaking of pitchers that we plan a lot of games around, Bernie Miklasz was on the radio (as he is every day) and he referred to the continual BS-ing from the Cardinals clubhouse about how well a player (specifically a pitcher) is doing in his rehab and recovery over extended periods of time only to find out in the end that he's done as "going down Mulder Road." 

I like that. 

Actually, it's even more involved than that. He talks about a bus, driven by the Cardinals, on which many people (himself included) are passengers as it drives (us) down Mulder Road. I'm guessing it's a dead end road. Please, oh, please, don't let Carpenter Lane end like that. So if pitchers were roadways... 

Wainwright Highway (only the occasional rest stop) 

McClellan Boulevard (because of the big divider between the right and left) 

Jason Motte Autobahn (duh, the speed) 

Chris Perez County Road (it starts off fine, but gets a little bumpy toward the end) 

Mulder Dead End Road (but all the signs said it went through, wtf?) 

Randy Flores Parking Lot (it's just him driving around in circles) 

Kyle Lohse Toll Road (yes, I'm smiling) 

Isringhausen whatever (doesn't matter, it's closed for construction anyway) 

Max Scherzer Interstate (starts off in Missouri but ends up across the country, and that was just a bonus because he's pitching against us tonight) 

I'm stuck on Looper. Any suggestions? 

Another bonus: Jim Hayes the other night on FSN: "... an amalgamation of emotion." I can't even tell you what he was talking about, but just try saying it three times fast.