Saturday, October 18, 2008

what a night for sports fans

Attn: John Mozeliak
Re: the bullpen
Please bring back Springer.

Attn: Voters
Re: Albert
Please don't forget who we're talking about here. This is Albert Freaking Pujols. He has more talent in his dirty sweat socks than you'll ever have in your whole closet. No offense.

Attn: Red Sox
Re: the World Series
Really? NOW you want it?

Attn: Mizzou fans
Re: the Texas (Chainsaw) Massacre
Just when you thought the disappointment was behind you us.

Attn: Blue Notes
Re: Oshie ka-Doshie
Wow. How do you like that? And he was thinking of playing on college ice this year.

Attn: Onion Staff
Re: not-quite-super-recent-but-still-super-pertinent article
Good job, once again, on putting my not-so-funny thoughts into very funny words.

CHICAGO—God, the divine creator and omnipotent deity, held a press conference Tuesday to discuss the infinite ways in which He could curse the postseason hopes of His least favorite baseball team, the Chicago Cubs. continue reading

Attn: Everyone who had given up on the Rams (inlcuding me)

Re: 2-0 under Jim's leadership
I keep trying to ignore the Rams, ignore the media, and focus my attention elsewhere, but I've been wholly unsuccessful as of yet. I was sucked in once again this afternoon, and to my utmost, um, pleasure(?), the Rams stomped all over the 'Boys to the tune of 34-14. Yikes. I might have to watch them take on New England next week.